Around here: There's a lot of me, the mama, trying to maneuver through life with what is essentially the weight of my little world on my shoulders. Where is the balance? Where is my center? I know, right? I am getting deep here people! But, I do think there comes a point in many mama's life that we question... our sanity, our actions, our parenting, and so much else.
Since being so sick and the little folk also being under the weather for what seemed like an eternity I've been a little frazzled. To say the least. I am now feeling better, thank goodness, and thinking more clearly. The challenging toddler with all his bedtime fussiness is starting to calm a bit. The oldest has challenging questions that keep sending me to goggle answers. The middle is healed from his "T and A" (insert your own funny what have you), and I'm trying to be a good listener to Chris who brings home the stresses from work. I'm not complaining- but some days it's really hard to get it all in: the hug, the teeth brushing, dinner, and yada yada.
I found this quote some where:
but the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.
Here was my interpretation of it on a frazzled day:
What ever dude! I do try to treasure the doing, but nothing else would get done. Because it's just me (on the days that Chris is gone) The kids wouldn't eat good food. They'd smell. Getting it done is necessary!
On a clear day:
Well, yes I can focus less on this and maybe more on that today while still remaining with our normal routine. I can sit and linger at the bedside a little more to hear about the silly things her friends are filling her brain with. The dishes can wait today.
What I know already is something that is good to go back to. Balance. Do my best to stay balanced. It's okay to have a frazzled day, because I know it WILL be better another day.
And treasure these moments...
1 comment:
Yoli, mija, I just read your profound "balance" blog. What can I say, the same thoughts have run through my mind, although I must admit you are so much more clearer about them than I have ever been, also at a much younger age. All I can say is "welcome" (in a very friendly tone with an accent) "to the world of adulthood". Balance, not sure it's really real. The "act of balancing" hm gets a little closer. Right now in your life with three little ones - it's an illusion, because it all goes towards everyone else and you may feel left out. Not unfair just the way it is for moms when babies are young. They do grow and become more independent well they don't need us as much (especially if we have raised them right) and balance comes back. On "those" days, just breath a wonderful breath of life:) I love you!! You're a great mom, wife, niece and so much more to many others.
Tia Maria
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